“Well, what happened at your school today?”

This is the same question my son asks me every day after work. My kids, both in middle school, have the unfortunate reality of having a middle school teacher for a mother. They want to know the struggles I faced and the victories I achieved, but such a simple question can elicit great emotionality out of me.

Teachers you will get this when I ask: How in the hell do I put into words the reality of what I see every day in school to anyone outside of my work world? 

Within seconds my mind flashes through stories, experiences, and moments exposing me to windows of pain occurring throughout our communities. I recall students who are hurting and in need of love and support. I think about the TERRIBLE habits much of our youth have acquired to cope with their loneliness and insecurities. I lament over the cruelty kids wield at each other in hopes to gain social currency. I feel in my bones the need for love so many kids have, as they are in homes of instability or mental illness.  All this heaviness exists within the 30 seconds after my son asks me that question.

“Well, what happened at your school today?”

I answer with same sentiments every time.  “Nothing much…”  I then ask them to trust me and provide me grace for the mom I am because of what happened at my school today.  

What happened at my school today is why…

I tell you can’t have social media till high school and then I will decide if you are ready.

You must have a typical sleep schedule without electronics in your room.

We will always value kindness and love over all things.

You will respect your teacher no matter what, even if your are right, or hell hath no fury like a teacher scorned.

You will not call adults “Bro.”

Grades do not matter.  Be motivated by the value you place in your work because your effort tells more about your character than your ability. 

I tell you not to eat ANYTHING that you did not bring to school, edibles are everywhere.

I remind you that words have power!  Using phrases such as “nobody cares” or “kill yourself” are never acceptable in any situation.  PERIOD.

I teach you that your culture is not the only the culture.  Go through the discomfort of getting to know and respect others who do not look like you.  What makes us different makes us better.

I want you to remember that your perspective is not right, it is just yours.

You are not entitled to anything, and I will not bail you out of trouble you caused but I will love you through it.

This list is just a glimpse into my “Generation Alpha Advice Column” that I offer free of charge to any adolescents that are willing to hear my words. Some nights I may ramble on more than others, or as my son sometimes says, “yap about the way the world should be.”  Other nights I use kid lingo like sigma, skibidi toilet, and rizz just to make my daughter cringe. No matter what my day brings to me, I’m blessed to have a family who cares enough to ask, “What happened at your school today?”