There is a misconception that pain is meant to be healed. Or maybe the misconception is really centered around what healing truly means?

Often we think of healing as a means of removing pain, making something “all better.” It is as if there is an eraser that can undo the trauma from past events and make looking forward easy again.

However, healing does not work that way. It is a process that calls on us to have radical acceptance that life is not meant to be fair, kind, or without struggle. It is a process that does not erase scars; rather, it is designed to ensure that you never forget.

The very center of our brain holds our emotional responses. Right behind that center is something called the hippocampus. That region of the brain is the master of our memories. Why do you think we are designed to remember emotions that make us afraid, hurt, or wounded?

It is because humans are called to live through suffering and to remember it. This is not to be a mental state for dwelling, rather an emotional source of telling. It is a place where you can learn from your mistakes, grow empathy through your experiences, and find strength in your resilience.

The healing you require is not to feel all better, but simply to feel. Feel it all, without the temptation of hiding or blaming. When it feels like your heart will explode, you trust with everything you have. You must follow your pain till the tears cease and you realize that you are still breathing. This is where your strength will be waiting.

Healing begins when we wash our wounds with gratitude, grace, and hope. It is a cleansing process that transforms our old way of thinking with a new understanding of who we are in this world. It is the power to move forward anew.

Hurt will bind us all as members of humanity. Healing is the salve for scars that come with memories of those who were there for you in times of need, resiliency you didn’t know you were capable of, and glimpses of good you didn’t know could come from bad. It is the quenching water the human spirit requires to gain self-love and acceptance, a means of remaining whole no matter how broken you feel.

An old Persian poet wrote, “The wound is where the light enters you.” Let go of the wrongs. Let go of the should’ve, could’ve, would’ve mentality. Let go of the walls you intend to build. Let go and let the light overcome you, so that you may find yourself in wholeness once more.