Embarking on a 40-day writing challenge was a commitment I wasn’t expecting to be so cumbersome. I had some juggling to do to make this happen. I had to evaluate when I could make the time, what had to get moved around, and how I could hold myself accountable on days I would frankly rather go to bed than write. As I near the final days of this challenge, I find myself in reflection on the concept of what it means to commit to something.

Some see commitment as an obligation, a removal of free will that robs them of other, more appealing options. Others protect themselves with commitment, using it as a shield to defend inaction, as if they are trapped and cannot do anything about it. Then there are those who embrace the dance between obligation and commitment, seeing it as both free will and a decision that comes without the option of giving up.

On the surface, commitment can feel as if we are giving up pieces of ourselves. When we become parents, we give up our money, free time, sanity, and sometimes even our life plans. When we choose a partner, we have to give up “our way” and compromise, sacrifice, and put up with things we don’t want to deal with. When we commit to ourselves in the form of healthy choices, we have to eliminate things we enjoy and face the discomfort of what it may take to change.

However, when we dig deeper, we see that commitment does not rob us of our identity. Rather, it does something far more impactful. It builds a life centered on the values we hold. It is literally the Lego blocks of the world. What you choose to commit to will construct the world that unfolds around you.

And this, my friends, is where we learn to balance and place our blocks accordingly. This balance requires us to eliminate meaningless obligations while prioritizing who we are at our core. It spurs questions that deserve authentic answers.

What can you not picture your life without?

What is in your life that stands in the way of you evolving into the person you want to be?

What are the ingredients for your wholeness that cannot be compromised?

What is in your life that brings out the best version of you?

These answers will connect you with your commitments, and these commitments are worth fighting for. They are worth obligations, sacrifice, and struggle because, without them, you would be incomplete. Overcommit or undercommit to these values, and your world will spin off-kilter. Include commitments that detract from your well-being or compromise your values, and you will find yourself lost without the balance required to live in contentment.

Committing to something or someone is a way to offer yourself love because it honors the fabric of what drives you. It is amazing what you can endure when you wholeheartedly commit. And when you question if it is worth the pain, draw in a deep breath and close your eyes. If you find yourself with a feeling of gratitude, joy, or appreciation, you have gained the gift of certainty that you are committed to the right things for you.