The older I get the more I worry. Not only that, but I feel like the things I worry about are elephants compared to the mice size problems of the past. I also do a real good job at not calling my thoughts worries. It is as if I have an inside joke with myself.

Take the other week for example. I had a routine eye appointment. Here is a snapshot of my thought process on the way there.

Voice in my head: What if you fail that stupid colorblind test for the first time ever? What if they see an image in your eye and they realize you have a tumor and now a simple eye exam turns into the need for an MRI? That would explain why I couldn’t remember the name of that song and forgot to close the garage door the other day.

I then laugh out loud and call myself an idiot. I tell myself what a crazy old lady I am becoming. I am not worried about a brain tumor or failing a stupid eye exam. I am laughing until I hit the door to the eye doctor. My heart rate jacks up, everything tightens, and I am reduced to a bumbling idiot.

I know the suspense is killing you, so I will inform you all that I passed my exam with flying colors (pun intended). However, the real takeaway from incidents such as these is that something has changed over time in my worry barometer, and even though I’m not a doctor, I know it is not good for me.

We all know worry is a lower level of fear. This anxiety causes our brains to release stress hormones that are hard on our bodies and over time can cause quite a bit of damage. The remedies for managing anxiety are all over in the form of medication, exercise, meditation, and more. This is a world I have helped kids manage for decades. So why am I struggling when I am at an informational advantage and why now?

Here are a couple of things I have deduced:

Wisdom can be a burden. Sometimes knowing more makes us realize the gravity of potential outcomes, which can be terrifying. The older we get, the more we understand that small things can have big implications.

Ain’t nobody got time for that. The older we become the more people in our world we have to manage. We tend to prioritize ourselves last. If we have to skimp on time or cut something out we take from the “me time” category instead of the chores, grocery shopping, or work column.

We avoid what we know is good for us. We know we should be getting consistent sleep and not scrolling on our phones before bed. We know we should be consistently exercising. We know we should cut out caffeine, alcohol, sugary foods, and fats. We know, but frankly, we don’t care. We binge-watch TV and social media to zone out. We eat unhealthy food to cope. We have a drink to calm our nerves. We also know that all of these things only make anxiety worse. But the truth is we value the immediate relief even if it is at the cost of perpetuating a chronic problem.

Our mortality becomes an hourglass instead of a great abyss. Remember when you were a teenager and 30 years old seemed like 100 years away? When someone was 40, you thought they must be getting senior citizen discounts. I need not say anymore. When we feel like we are at the halfway point of life, all of a sudden our body reminds us that limitations are coming and we are not invincible. We go from trying cocktails to trying supplements.

We’re too proud to give anxiety a name. The older generation did not grow up with anxiety as a mainstream issue. Instead of strategies to manage fear, we had one prescription. It was called, shut up and get over it. There is a part of that I still subscribe to, as meeting fear head-on is extremely powerful. However, before I can meet my fear, I have to acknowledge it. I can’t overcome something I am refusing to believe exists. We have a tendency to push worry from our minds, thinking it dissipates, but as we all know, the body cannot be fooled. Even if your words say you’re over it, your brain has the final say.

We don’t trust. I believe at the root of worry is a seed of distrust. We do not have faith that we can handle certain outcomes or that others will come through for us. All around us we see variables that are not certain, so we lose faith and distrust that things will workout in our favor. We do not have to believe life will unravel as we believe it should, but we need to develop a trusting muscle in our spirit that assures us we can handle whatever comes no matter how it unfolds.

We attempt to control the uncontrollable. If I had to pick the number one pitfall of humans, it would be their hubris to believe they can control the actions, thoughts, feelings, and outcomes of everyone around them. I don’t know when we as a species evolved into thinking we were all creators of the universe, but this mindset is crushing. It occupies our thoughts with a million options to manipulate and control things that, in the end, are not worth our time or worry. Imagine what we could do with the time in our lives if our minds were only set to focus on our actions, perceptions, and well-being. We would be completely liberated, and decisions would be based on what our values align to, not on what we believe will make us more likable, powerful, or significant.

The goal of this piece is not to list off all the things that can help eliminate worry or to give an inspirational talk. It is to give a voice and a face to the invisible monsters that stalk our thoughts and wreak havoc on our bodies. Don’t fool yourselves into thinking the world is always ending, but don’t dismiss the feelings of uncertainty and chronic distrust you have in your abilities. We all have the ability to become more certain about the one thing we can control: ourselves.

Always fight to be in the moment, completely present, and realize the only battle you have is within you. Fight the good fight, friends. Let in the light, see your own power, and while you are at it, get some sleep!