My great-aunt Ev called everybody by some kind of pet name. From the bank teller to the waitress, everyone was either honey, baby, or sweetie. Maybe it was because she couldn’t remember names, or maybe it was because she loved connecting in a more endearing way with people. She wanted to make everyone feel like they were special to her, even if they had never met.

I actually cannot remember when I took over this habit but, like her, everyone I encounter is usually greeted with some term of endearment. I am not picky. I have a whole library of favorites I use: love (my favorite), sweetie, lovebug, baby, sweet girl, buddy, and whatever other name comes to mind. I use them with people I know and complete strangers every single day.

Not everyone is a fan of my loving approach to greetings. My husband claims it is semi-embarrassing, especially with random people at stores or in the community. My children judge me and claim it is “cringe” when I “glaze” people. However, I stand by my approach to life.

Regardless of public opinion, I have come to learn that humans appreciate being seen. They crave a passing moment that doesn’t feel mechanical or pointless. A term of endearment can be like a shock to the system. People become genuinely surprised that another person is randomly showing a form of kindness.

I have had the barista at a coffee shop do a double take and say, “Did you just call me love?” My daughter buries her head in her hands. Then he continued, “Well, thank you because you just turned my day around.” And this happened through a drive-thru speaker. I had a senior citizen thank me because the last time he had been called sweetie was “decades ago before his wife died.” I had a woman at the supermarket who actually slowly turned around and said, “Thank you for seeing me; sometimes I feel like I am invisible.” I can recount dozens of moments like these where I was met with friendly gratitude for a simple, courteous term of endearment.

I deal with adolescent children every single day. They are quick to “bruh” me, get defensive when I ask them to do something, or when I deny a request. Power struggles in a middle school are a real temptation for teachers and students alike. Phrases like these soften most kids almost immediately. I go from a student telling me that if he passes out because I won’t let him get water, I will be hearing from his lawyer, to that same student asking me if he can work with me on a crossword puzzle during his free time.

While some may find these phrases cheesy or even condescending, I find them a way to share a morsel of love with so many people who, quite frankly, forget how much they need it until the words hit their ears.

So, to my beautiful Aunt Ev, thank you so much for instilling this loving habit into my life. It is in your memory that I too hope to make everyone remember they matter and are seen.