I’d like to say I came from nothing, and maybe part of that is true. I certainly didn’t have money, and there were plenty of factors that worked against my odds. Both of my parents dropped out of high school to start a family. They made their way the best they knew how, ending up with four children in a dilapidated farmhouse with nothing but the grace of God looking over us.

I am a fighter by nature and like to think it was all on account of my fervent approach to life that I made something out of myself. As one may say, I pulled myself up by my bootstraps and accomplished my goals without anything being handed to me.

There is something about that phrase that makes me wonder what kind of illusions we sell ourselves. Originating in the late 1800s, it was meant to describe a task that was so impossible it is ludicrous to imagine it being done. It was a mocking quip to encompass the impossibility of accomplishing something as difficult as physically lifting oneself up by the strap of a boot.

We now think of pulling yourself up by the bootstrap as a badge of honor and an expectation for respect earned. It is the idea of self-reliance, improvement, and responsibility. It is where hard work and determination meet deserved outcomes. The whole adage transitioned from jesting about impossibilities to a presumptive choice we all should live by.

I may have pulled myself up by my bootstraps, but let me tell you I’m afraid there might be a little bit of horseshit stuck on the bottom of my boot because there is absolutely zero chance I accomplished my goals by hard work alone.

Now before you cry out “bullshit” and start rattling off the importance of hard work and perseverance, let me say I agree that no one overcomes the hurdles of life without those two ingredients. However, we must acknowledge the history and conditions surrounding us that gave life to our better tomorrows.

In my case, I had a loving family unit. I had a mom and dad that, even in their own struggles and poverty, prioritized their children. I had a small hometown that was ripe for opportunities. Let’s just say, as a former high school basketball player, not many other schools were recruiting girls under 5 feet. I grew up in the pre-internet era and could just be a kid. I had no distractions. In fact, living on a farm in the middle of nowhere, I was bored as hell. As the youngest, I had only myself to keep my mind occupied. I got a free ride to an amazing university to study education. I had a race and religion that were never factors to consider or hurdles to overcome.

I can go on and on about the things that went right for me, but truth be told, they have nothing to do with the boots I trudge along my journey with. We may all be able to convince ourselves and others that our outcomes are only reliant on our brute strength and grit, but that would be leaving out the best part of the story. The part where we owe gratitude to all the people and blessings that got us from one shitty step to the next.

We had people hurt us, who taught us about our own strength and how “not” to be. We had people who gave us second, third, or tenth chances so we could try again to prove our worth. We had people who told us our dreams were not silly and were within our reach. We had people remind us to laugh, love, and trust. We had moments of coincidence that gave us the right thing at the right time. We had our abilities and capabilities. We had the blessing of time to do something different or try something new. We had moments that refueled our souls and turned our tomorrows around.

Friends, we have all of these people, blessings, and opportunities to give us the muscle required to find that damn strap, pull it up, and take the next step.