How many ways can you be pulled, stretched, and worn thin? How many people do you hear in your thoughts asking you for something? How many places do you have to be at the same time on the same day?

Damn, we are asked to be everything to everyone! We have to be a good parent, partner, sibling, child, friend, and colleague. We have to take 24 hours and divide them up equally so that every stakeholder in our lives gets their equal share.

The older I get the more I realize the impossibility of making everyone happy, which leads to a reduced amount of shits I give when figuring out how to spend my time. No matter how you divide yourself and what decisions you make, someone in your life will feel like they got the short end of the stick. So why even try?

I have a simple answer to what I have learned is a simple question. Whatever you do, do it for you. Seem selfish? I understand that at first glance it appears that doing something for yourself is ego-centered. However, think about the feelings you harbor when you live to please others.

When we run ragged with the belief that fulfilling obligations will lead to gaining the approval of others, we not only place unrealistic expectations on ourselves, but we also rob ourselves of the empowerment that comes from using our voice and choice to do the best we can with the time we have.

Think about a typical weekend. You have 48 hours to fit in everything you think is important before the work week starts again on Monday. Instead of starting with whose approval do I need most, start with according to my values, what are the most important commitments that I have to make time for? Then, after you map out those commitments, to hell with the voice in your head that says, “Wait, who am I letting down?”

The truth is the only person you are accountable to is yourself. You do not owe the world anything because, at the end of the day, you are left with the person looking back at you in the mirror. You need to do you—UNAPOLOGETICALLY. If you do not, you will be eaten alive by guilt, shame, bitterness, and resentment because you are living up to the simultaneous standards of a dozen different people in your life.

This weekend I challenge you to make a roadmap for your days and be where you are. If you have an obligation to family do it because you feel it is right and you WANT to be there. If you have an obligation to your friends do it because you WANT to be there. The minute our brain tells us we have to be there we lose the value of the time we are spending. Life becomes reduced to a set of chores that we check off the list when completed.

Don’t go through the motions of being in one place while thinking about how you should be at another. Regain your power by living in accordance with your values. If your gut tells you to get your ass to Grandma’s or drag your tired self to dinner with friends, then go… because you want to, not because you have to. I promise this mindset will liberate you from the heaviness of feeling “not enough” and move you into the empowerment that stems from living in accordance with what your heart needs, your mind wants, and your soul believes in.