We live in a time where everyone appears to put themselves first. Entitlement is at an all-time high as the view of the world becomes more and more ego centered.

However, my theory is that people are not becoming more self-serving, but rather they feel compelled to choose everyone and everything over themselves. Now before your mind wanders to images of people feeding the homeless or spending hours of their day in the service of others, let me clarify what I mean with my hypothesis.

You see I believe there are a few elements that are required for people to serve themselves. They consist of the three pillars of wholeness: mind, body, and spirit. Think of things such as self-care like diet, sleep, and nutrition. Consider the importance of mental nourishment such as learning, exploring new opportunities, and finding time for meditation or time spent in silence. Then reflect of the essential role spirituality plays for people (which is not to be confused with religion). This may include time spent in nature, volunteering your resources to those less fortunate, or participating in something that has a meaning greater than yourself.

Without taking the time to shape your routines, priorities, and values around these essential pieces to the wellness puzzle, you will begin to invest in everything and everyone, but yourself.  You will allocate all your energy to actually avoid being with yourself at all.  Let’s dig deeper.

You think are winding down when you are choosing mindless consumption of social media for hours. If this is winding down, how do you feel when you put down your phone or turn off your computer? Did you choose me time, or did you sacrifice your time to focus on the blessing of others, hateful online rhetoric, or mind-numbing videos that leave your thoughts racing?  You didn’t choose you; you chose to ignore yourself.

You think you are choosing yourself when you attempt to control conditions and people. You think you are realigning reality not just for the benefit of others, but for yourself as well. Well, most people will admit that it is impossible to control the actions, words, or thoughts of others. Your attempts are not saving anyone, including yourself; you are expending wasted energy to a fix the world that exists outside of yourself.

You think you are pursuing justice for yourself when you follow disempowering emotions such as anger and resentment.  Battles won with revenge, hate, or bitterness do not promote self-worth, rather they erode your values leaving you feeling depleted and ripe with insecurity.  You didn’t choose you; you chose to deprive yourself of grace.

Time and time again, people choose pain, isolation, distraction, bitterness, anger, and hate all in the name of saving themselves and what they care about.  They will erase time for their healing.  They will overlook their wounds that need tending.  They will pour attention into distractions to avoid accepting their burdens.  They will choose to reject others for protection, denying themselves the love they deserve.

You will face a million decisions this week. You will choose how you spend your time and who you spend your time with. You will choose how to react to difficult or irritating situations. You will decide what the little voice in your head narrates to you throughout you day. Will you choose if you are the villain or the hero?  If you find yourself in a moment of deliberation, wondering what you should do: Choose love! Choose healing!  Choose You!